Your best guide to a stress-free holiday season

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of fun, relaxation and spending time with your loved ones. But, if the thought of Christmas leaves you feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. 

Many people find this time of year stressful. There’s pressure to get everything done at work and home. Worries about the extra costs of presents and social events.
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And like everything else in 2021, this year is a bit trickier than usual. With Aotearoa opening up after a long lockdown, it can feel like there is added pressure to make up for the months spent stuck at home.

To help you and your whanau get the holidays in one piece, here’s our best advice on how to have a stress-free family break.

Set realistic expectations

One of the best ways to minimise your holiday stress is to set realistic expectations.  Remember:

• You don’t have to see everyone and do everything. 
• You can’t buy happiness.  Homemade or inexpensive gifts or a Secret Santa can help cut down on costs.
• It can be hard to get everyone together in person on Christmas Day.  If you have family overseas or need to compromise with blended and extended family members, take advantage of video chats, emails and phone calls so you can still celebrate together.
• If your family tends to disagree at other times of the year, it will probably happen during the holiday season as well.
• Not everyone is a chef.  A simple meal that is easy to make, is better than spending all day in the kitchen trying (and failing!) to make complicated food.

It’s OK to say no

During December, there are always lots of social events.  Especially this year, when many of us have gone months without spending quality time with our loved ones. 

​You might feel like you have to see as many people as possible, but it’s OK to say no.  They’ll still be there after Christmas and you’ll probably have a more enjoyable time when you’re not feeling pressured.

Dealing with family stress

Traditional portrayals of a happy family on Christmas Day can be unrealistic. All families have their stresses and these don’t disappear just because it’s Christmas Day.  Here are a few strategies you can use to help avoid family conflicts:

• If you’re worried about clashes between family members make a plan on how to deal with these. E.g., plan games and activities to keep everyone busy or schedule your events so that family members who always disagree are kept apart.
• Everyone is under some kind of stress at this time of year.  Try and understand the situation from other people’s point of view.
• Christmas is really about the kids. Try to put them first and focus on giving them happy memories.  If you can, put adult disagreements aside for a more appropriate time.
• If you have family members who have different opinions on politics and Covid vaccinations, remember that everyone has a right to their point of view. Christmas Day is not the time for an in depth discussion of their decisions.

Set aside some downtime

Make sure you set aside quiet time to relax and do something you enjoy. This could be as simple as going for a walk or spending a night at home with your favourite book or Netflix series.
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On Christmas Day, half an hour at home in between events with your feet up and a cup of tea can make all the difference to your stress levels.

Make a plan… and be flexible when it doesn’t work!

Plan ahead to ensure you can fit in everything you need to. Set aside certain times for shopping, food prep, friends, school celebrations etc.
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And once you’ve got your plan in place, keep in mind that unexpected events can (and often will) happen.  Try your best to be adaptable. And most importantly, don't be afraid to ask for help. Get other family members to pitch in and share the load to get your to do list ticked off.

Use these tips to minimise your Christmas stress...

… and have a fun and enjoyable festive break.  2021 has been a long hard year for all of us and we all deserve time to rest and recharge.
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And finally, if you’re finding it hard to cope over the holidays, it can often help to talk to someone who is not so closely involved.  In New Zealand, there are a wealth of online resources and telephone support options, some of which are available 24/7.